i barfeds in our rink
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
