All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
