I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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