they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
