I wish my penis had an off switch
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Who died my cat blue again?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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