We're facebook friends in real life
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
