hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
