you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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