Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
