i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Green mimosas i think yes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
