is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
