could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk