Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.