I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We left an ass print on the piano.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
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I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??