tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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