I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
