You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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