who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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