Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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