Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
