Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
