i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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