He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
