Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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