Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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