you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need moral support for this bender
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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