My vagina just recognized that song.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sext me about skeletons
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
