I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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