if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
