i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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