party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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