Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
birth control should be required to get into college
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
