the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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