i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
