Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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