So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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