Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
