so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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