so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
