shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this just has baby written all over it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.