Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours