you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize