You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize