the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
