Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize