we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
