At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
