Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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