he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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