hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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