You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
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I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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