can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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