i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
