i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
