And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
