is your mom at the bar?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
