He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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