nut hugger
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
FUCK WHALES
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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