I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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