so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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