Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
